11 For the grace of God has
appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly
passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present
age,
Titus 2:11-12
Titus 2:11-12
Some people are very good at saying
no to things. They approach offers skeptically, and are able to quickly not
commit to multitudes of things. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum of
these individuals. I struggle to say no, and more often (unless in highly
unusual cases) say Yes. To practically every opportunity, event and chance that
comes my way. I also am notorious for saying yes when people ask me to donate money. Partially because I get excited about so many things, that I can
see positive opportunity and a window to contribute in so many things! And for
my enthusiasm, I do live a very exciting and dynamic life. I love all the
things I am involved in, I love excelling and trying new things and making a
difference.
And there is some virtue sometimes
to being active, busy and involved. Activity can breed courage, a sense of
purpose, an ability to do more than what one thought previously possible. It is
healthy to be up to things in life, to challenge yourself to move ahead with
rigor.
In
times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your
anger and your energy into something positive. –Lee Iacocca
Inaction
breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to
conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. –Dale Carnegie
Lately however I have discovered
saying yes to everything is leading me astray. By saying yes to so much, I lead
myself to be overcommitted, overworked, overwhelmed and overall less effective.
By saying yes I cram my schedule with so many things I hardly leave myself a
chance to breathe, much less sleep, eat healthy and rest. The quote below
unfortunately speaks to my condition:
A man
too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of
his tools. –Spanish Proverb
I sometimes find myself praying-
God let it all slow down, let me get through this- when my crazy schedule is
not only fully my fault, but also when I do get a chance to breathe, I fill up
my time with more things! I am my own worst enemy on this front.
I think my pace in life stems in
some ways from a fear of missing out. Fear of failure. Fear of not making a difference
in the world. John had the courage to tell me last night (while I was stressed working
on something until midnight) that these fears are all fairly self-serving and
self-centered. And he is right- as much as I am genuinely excited about giving
to others and living my life for God- the way I am living my life and prioritizing
my motivations right now is not reflective of this at all. And I don’t always
take things on for selfless reasons.
“Beware of the barrenness of a busy
life” -Socrates
My stereotypical way of dealing
with this problem is to commit to more. To say Yes to other things to try to
solve the problem, or to just charge through it and get as much done out of
what I have committed to as I can. Really, what I need to start practicing is
to say no. To say no to things- and to stop feeding into the fear I would be
missing out. The truth is, I will need to learn to say no if I want to lead a
great life, to make a genuine difference, to give my life up to God. And I need
to realize that part of living my life for God is practicing saying no every
day. And in some ways, by saying no to other things I am saying yes to him. To
allow myself the space to be filled with things I would not necessarily expect.
In this conversation, I pray for
discernment, wisdom, and the courage to live my life differently than how I
have been.
oh, I am with you. I often just wish, wish, wish I didn't have to sleep. Then, it seems, I could get everything I wanted to get done in a day done!! I sleep too little, but I also love being busy so I have just accepted lack of sleep! I feel totally unable to say "no" to something I want to do . . .I always seem to make it all fit, but sometimes my family does not appreciate this so much and there have been times when I really wished I could say no.
ReplyDeleteJust finished a book called "A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough" by Wayne Muller. One of his points is that the speed of the human heart cannot possibly keep up with ever increasing mind-driven technologies. The slower, more ancient and eternal pace of the deeper aspects of the human heart cannot keep up with the pace of the mind. There is time needed to process emotions, spirituality, friendship, trust and love. If we pack our days with constant action and commitments piled on top of each other, there is no way for the emotional processing and harvesting of wisdom from these experiences. Our minds race along very fast, but our inner self cannot always keep pace. So it seems better to seek a balance of activities and actions, and learning to say no and to even allow for some measure of a margin in life takes discernment and self discipline. Part of this is for ourselves, and part of this is for the other significant people in our lives who depend on us to be fully present for them.
ReplyDeleteSo recognizable Kelsie. If I am honest, in so much of my exhausting busyness doing "good" I often was inwardly thinking, "Look God at how much good I am doing for you" and somehow seeking His acknowledgement. But, I now know that sometimes His response is "But I didn't ask you to do any of those things". I am too busy to pray and reflect on where my energy and talents should be spent. "To obey is better than sacrifice".
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